emraldflames1993

Depression is such a cruel thing. Cruel, and manipulative, and sneaky. It's been so long since I was "bad", so long since I was self harming, or skipping work. But now I can't stop questioning. I have a low day where I just can't get up, or I go a week without feeling like I can actually shower and wash my hair, and all I can think is "God, I hope I don't get bad again". What if this is bad? What if I'm already there? I'm feeling numb more than I'm feeling even just ok, and when I'm not numb I feel stressed. I've started hitting things again. At least then I've got some bruises to prod at to try and get some kind of feeling again. I should

So, the past few months have gone rather amazingly for me. Work is still shit. But I got a tattoo apprenticeship. And although they aren't paying me until I'm on a machine (and then expecting me to come in to work on days I've asked to have off), it is absolutely amazing. They're teaching me a lot, like how to colour properly (which is proving easier than I always imagined it to be). And I am learning more about styles and things. I'm absolutely loving it. And I'm seeing this awesome chick. But I'm not in a relationship. I think I like this single thing. Having all of the fun. Even when the girl I'm seeing gets jealous over how I am with a